Thesis day has officially come, and due to The Circumstances, our department gave us more time to complete our projects. To me, that means I have more time to wallow in self pity because I don’t get to present cool things that I did throughout the semester. I guess the website suffices, but it isn’t the same. 

Anyway, between babysitting, editing projects for other classes, taking on leadership roles for those projects (because I’m a dummy who doesn’t know when to stop volunteering for things), and this, I’ve been keeping relatively busy. Busy enough to keep my mind preoccupied for a while. I still had a few breakdowns, remembering that this was thesis week, and I won’t be at school to participate, but I’ve stopped crying. 

 It sounds childish and selfish, but it isn’t fair that we don’t get these rights of passage. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of things right now are not fair, including the essential workers’ pay and responsibilities– and I feel like a baby complaining about my problems when there are people sacrificing their health to help this pandemic– but this also isn’t fair. 

 I’ve been working through my feelings a bit more, and I’m allowing myself to feel bad. Everyone has the right to feel bad right now. So I do. 

But back to my thesis… I’m currently compiling all of the features for this website and trying to motivate myself to complete my poetry pages. Tomorrow I’m back to juggling school work and a toddler, but c’est la vie, baby!