Trying to remain motivated through a worldwide pandemic proved to be far more challenging than I anticipated. I feel as though this circumstance put me through the five stages of grief. At first I was in deep, and I mean DEEP denial. I could not believe that all I looked forward to was simply gone. I was then enraged that it was all taken away and we had no say. This was meant to be a graceful finish but it was so abrupt. I was angry because I knew I would have no true closure for my senior year, it would simply end. In a way I did bargain because I would calculate how we could still make it work, hopeful that we may return. When it finally hit me that there was no redemption, I fell into the hard stage of depression. I did not want to do anything, I could not speak, I did not want to think. Everytime I tried to express my feelings to those who cared, I would choke. Once I accepted the harsh truth, I still lacked motivation. It was though I knew it no longer mattered and there was no reason to work hard anymore. As I settled in my acceptance longer, I realized that I should be proud of all I have accomplished thus far. I have come a long way and regardless of the circumstance, I will go out with a bang.
Natalie Alcantara – Blog #3
