Blog 4I have been playing baseball for most of my life, starting at 5 years old with Tee ball then rookie, minors, majors, and then hitting the big field. That is the one place that  I have always felt comfortable. It is the one place where I go and forget about all the bad stuff in the world. Up until this year, I had felt that I could be myself there, but it has now changed. My time playing baseball in college has come to a pause now. Long story short, I wasn’t focusing, I was upset with the results I was getting, and I acted out because of it. At this time last year, I was cutting up hitters, striking them out, going deep into games, and getting soft contact. I had played my best baseball of my life, with that I was awarded the Pitcher of the Year award and a part of the first team all-conference. After  this, going into the season there was a lot of pressure on me to repeat what I had done last season. I was told that I had to go undefeated, have an earned run average under a 2.00, and lead the pitchers to victory and influence them. Now the reality is that I have to accept that I am no longer the same person, I don’t even play anymore. It has been a crazy last couple of weeks getting used to, it almost feels surreal, like this is not supposed to be happening. It is something I will have to live on and reflect on. The first week that I was not on the team I went to go watch the doubleheader they were playing that weekend. It was with my friends and roommates and it was awful, when I was missing out on lifts and practices that I used to stress out about, watching the games made me extremely upset, it still does. Watching these games where I would be the first pitcher starting that day hit me really hard, watching Arcadia go on a crazy winning streak right after I was pinned with the loss the first game hurt. The team is on an excellent tear, they are ranked the #24 team in the country at the moment and are looking to win the MAC Freedom Championship, making it to the NCAA tournament as well. It is a very annoying pill to swallow but I will grow. From the experience with Arcadia Baseball I will take away a lot of things, a lot of positive and some negative. I think I will learn a lot more from the experience of being let go though. It means that I am not bigger than the team, no matter how good I am. It does not matter how good you are, it is about treating your teammates well, and that division III baseball is not as important as I think it is. No one will care when I am looking for a job about this. I think I can learn alot of in particular because this will help me grow a lot more in terms of me being a sports writer. Without being connected to the team directly I have a lot of free time to use on the subject of the team still. I am able to watch every game from the live stream, go to the home games, and be able to be a part of the media since I am so close to the players. I think writing about the team will be much easier, my roommates still play, and I usually go out and do things with them anyway. I will miss the trips, and the hotels, and the bus rides, but I think that everyone has to step away from playing the game seriously in their lives. My baseball knowledge has always been very good, I follow the sport carefully and make sure to watch whenever I can. Talking about baseball has always come seamless to me because I have been around it for so long. Since I have been, I think that writing is going to come a lot easier to me.