So I decided to gut everything. Honestly, this is very classic me so I was prepared for the consequences to my project timeline. I realized that I didn’t want to sacrifice the way I wanted to honor my great-grandfather’s story in order to finish it in the amount of time left so I decided to go back to one of my other original ideas. Truthfully, this is the one I wanted to do the most in the first place but I let myself be talked out of what I knew was the best option for me. I wanted to please others more than I wanted to please myself and all it did was cost me valuable time. I’ve been trying to learn that lesson for a while, to trust my gut instincts more, so I’m thankful for the opportunity to be reminded again.
Now, for my project I am writing a short novel and adapting a few key scenes from the book into screenplay scenes in order to highlight how medium affects narrative. How the intent of the audience, how they want to escape, changes with each type of media. I knew I should have gone with this idea in the first place because it really captures the essence of my unconventional relationship with my education and my individualized major of Print and Visual Communications – a perfect personification of my inability to choose between the two worlds. The story focuses on a girl trapped in a Blackhole, which I became obsessed with this last year and I also felt it served a great metaphor function for the hole of depression I’ve found myself in a number of times. The story is a fictionalized truthful feeling and I’m excited to explore it.
Creating the visuals of the book cover and movie poster got me especially excited for this new phase of my thesis process but it is of course not without its share of anxieties. I’m already feeling the effects of writer’s block and struggle to break through and find my groove within the narrative. Sometimes it takes a hot second for me to get to the space where the story pours out of me so it will have to be a very conscious and purposeful effort to stay on track. I’m hoping to not have to just create comparative scenes to play against the movie scenes, but rather a whole complete novel but I will have to take it as it comes and adjust my expectations along the way. That being said, I’m excited to share this story. I’ve carried it with me for a while now and it feels good to let it out and let others live in it with me.