Bug:

Hi, it’s Bug again. This blog post is meant to be a progress statement for my podcast and while I wish I had more done, I’m going through one of the roughest times of my life and pushing through it as best I can. I’m still getting things done but not at the pace I had originally set for myself a few weeks ago. I am still currently writing my 1st episode transcript when originally I had wanted to be editing to upload by this Friday. I underestimated the amount of writing that needed to be done for each episode and I’m feeling a little trapped by the standards I set for myself. I wanted each episode to be 30 minutes long, but 30 minutes of speech equals about 4,000 words, and that’s almost as long as my thesis paper itself. Not to mention I planned on doing 13 episodes. I’m thinking about cutting the number of episodes in half and aiming for 20 minutes instead, but that still feels like an insurmountable amount of work to be done by me in my current state. I don’t remember the last day I didn’t cry at some point or another. It’s taking all of my energy to keep up with coursework that I don’t really have the time to process my emotions, so when I feel them, they’re rough and intense and are capable of putting me out of commission. Truth be told, I think this might be the weakest I’ve ever felt. But I refuse to let anyone take away my graduation, my degree, and the life I have planned for myself so there’s nothing I can do but push forward and try my best even when it feels impossible. I’m attaching a picture of myself to today’s blog so I can remind myself who all this work is really for.